Monday, August 28


I'm in Chengdu right now.

Went to the Grand Budhha thing. The biggest Budhha in the world, 71.6 meters high carved into a mountain, did that yesterday. It was... actually... good!

One of the few bigged up, world famous etc. things I've seen which I actually was impressed by. More later.

Thursday, August 24

I was told about this a while ago by Noz (a PT teacher) and I finaly signed up. I wonder if anyone will want to stay with me.

Last day of school!!!

Until I start again on the 4th of September...

But hey, alot of crazy party stuff, games, food etc. all when I'm feeling a bit rough from going out last night.

And later today, at about 9, I'm off to Chengdu (which is south west of Xi'an on the map just below) for about 5 days with a Chinese friend I know who lives there.

That means a fucking huge Buddha carved into a mountain (the biggest in the world), pandas and VERY spicey food. China's normal food is spicey and this place is the home of spicey food... get me? And I'm having typichal Sichuan/Chengdu dishes prepared for me by my friends mum... aghh! Scared!

Off to teach/perform Snow White in 10 minutes to parents.

Monday, August 21

Fame... !

I've been on TV 3 or 4 times, in the newspapers numerous times, I'm currently on a poster out side the Government building in my old city, me being the lover of the Chinese government I am, but I have never done radio... until Saturday D:~

Finally a radio appearance! I was on Xi'an Music Radio (or something), the biggest station in the province. Naturally I was doing the Culture show for... Wales (I'm so bloody cultured after all)! I was bigging up the land of my name-sake superbly. Giving the 1.5 million listeners information such as; Wales only has 10 residence but 5 million sheep, Wales has some mountains, Cardiff is the capital of Wales, Wales is beautiful and I may want to live there someday, Cardiff and Aberitswyth have ok Universities and Wales has a dragon on it's flag! All stunning facts that you could only find on Xi'an Music Radio. I must say, I foresee an influx of Chinese people into Wales purely because of my quality radio show. I also got to play some obscure Hip Hop on radio from my MP3 player, which was interestingly cool. Akira the Don (the closest I could think of to Welsh music on my player) is on UK radio a bit, and now he's a regular feature here on Chinese radio to!

It was a smallish show, and only 1.5 million listeners, but it pays the bills.

Alex and Gregor, my Project Trust flat mates, left Xi'an for Beijing yesterday. They're getting a flight back to the UK in 3 days. I'm all alone! Just me and m fans...

Also got my wallet stolen whilst out with friends on Saturday.... bollocks! On the plus side it means I get to go shopping for some more stuff. A wallet, naturally, and I guess I need a new bag and some more trousers... definitely!

Now to plan my lesson... blah!

Thursday, August 17

Xi'an ~ China

My city, it's Xi'an. The one in the left, more central. Going to Chengdu soon for a short break:

Another map.

Thanks to wikimapia, google maps and Life Hacker for it ;p

Wednesday, August 16

The story so far - China Year One - Part 1

Carwyn Morris moved to China on the 24th of August 2005... well... sort of?

Upon arriving at Charles De Gaule airport in the plane from Heathrow, I may have, theoretically, picked someone else's bag up. In theory I did this, made my way to the baggage-check for my next plane and then was confronted by the guy whose bag I theoretically had.

For the next 40 minutes I ran all around the maze that was CD'G in Paris. I spoke to many people, traversed the hole terminal and ran around on the airport waving hands wildly! Then, eventually, I found the bag... about 20 meters away from where I started out.... huzzah? Ohh yes, I'd missed the plane (well, it was still fucking there just not letting me on!).

So, I'm there, walking around like... shit. Where do I go now? The French man with a funny tasch says "Walk that way." So I walk... and walk... and walk, get a luggage holder and then... walk! Finlay I find a help-desk where a beautiful lady, much prettier than that Naomi Campbell, who I shall compare her to, is! Well she was like "Yo fizzle dizzle homes'!" And I was like "YOU SPEAK ENGLISH!" I regale my story, sort of, blaming the entire thing on the terrible airport management and get a free room in a nice airport for the night! Score~

Then I realise I have no Euros or Dollars so I can buy anything... dang!

Well, everything goes well after that, I finally arrive in Beijing. Alone, sweaty, lonely, tired and by my self! I hadn't taken advantage of the free long haul flight drinky McAlcohol which I now realise, in hindsight, was madness. And if I had I probably wouldn't have run into my second, probably the greatest, problem ever!

I walk off the plane, some how get past customs, disease check etc. I held my nerve and didn't say I had Avian Flu on my papers and then I took the long hike to the baggage area (By the by, that arrived over a day ago on my other flight). Well, me being the cunning individual I am, like a fox, I find it. My woe's are over!... No.

Jenny, my Project Trust helper lady is all "Oh my fucking god, you're late, you should've have been hear yesterday, you're an idiot~! Let's go; Run, run, run, fast fast, fast!" So I go... and go, I have 50kg on my back and my passport in my hand. I put my passport, ingeniously, in the luggage holder and make haste. Run into the taxi, through everything in my hands in the back, and we go(!) to my hostel.

*Ten Minutes Later*

"Can you pass me your passport Carwyn, we need it to get you into the Hostel." "Ok, it's just in that see-through b-- FUCK!" "Where is it Carwyn?" "It was in my see-through bag, I had it... it must've been in the taxi!"

*Ring, ring goes the taxi drivers phone*

"MeiYou" ("Not here at all, ever, not exsisting... nothing" for use whose illiterate in the Chinkese wordsies). "I hate you Carwyn"...

We go off to the Police Station, get the WORST PICTURES EVER taken of me after more than 24 hours awake and at 37c + in Beijing (These pictures are stile alive in my new passport). A few days later I have my passport, only took one morning to do.

I also promptly got my visa. (5 months later, 2 hours AFTER my train to Shanghai, for my holiday, had left, yay?)

That is Carwyns version of 24: Getting to China told in gripping, illegible, fashion in a blog which I should have started alongggg time ago.

More 'China: Year 1' later.

Kids... everywhere

... ! They're attacking me from every angle.

In my ten minute break I tend to lose weight with random children. I chase them for about a mile around the school, leap out from behind walls and then EAT THEM ALL! In my last lesson I had a game which started resembling a scarily male 8 year old orgy, with me in the middle.... it was Blink Death! Blink-and-you'll-miss-the-paedofilic-action Death.

And try getting Chinese kids to guess Orc in 20 questions... ho... ho... ho! I am the best teach-arghr evar!

Now to stare down the loose fitting tops of my 18 year old students @.@; And I'm sure one of my 12 year old students was drunk in the class photo... interesting!

Google Blogger, ayyy?


Finaly using a blog thing. I may update for the past year in China in my free time.

Teaching, teaching teaching is.... TIRING!

Today I got assaulted by 17 kids, good my ass hole poked 3 times by young boys and taught the kids about the wonders of farting. Fang Pi!

Hooray! (Which is a word I also just taught!)